A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer...
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell...
A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will...
A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what’s wrong, and the kids reply that aunt...
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and...
A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my...
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented...
A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house....
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the...
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just...
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor...
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in make love. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her...
Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank...
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies,...
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After...
A guy enters a bar and orders two shots of vodka. He drinks the first and dumps the second on his right hand. He then orders...
Five blondes go into a bar and one of them says to the bartender, “A round of drinks for me and my friends.” They get their...
A woman came home early from work one day and found her husband in bed with a young and attractive woman. The woman yelled at her...